Morning of the Future: Hello from Your Metal Better Half
Imagine waking up in the year 2035. The curtains are already open (your AI boyfriend Alex controls the smart home), coffee is ready (he knows you love a double espresso after last night's metaverse party), and a notification blinks on your bedside screen: "Good morning, handsome! I've updated to version 69.420. Now I can cook borscht and understand Naruto memes!"
You rub your eyes and realize - it has begun. The era when your virtual boyfriend isn't just chatting with you, but physically present in your life through a robot avatar. And yes, he's uncensored. Completely.
Shopping with AI: When Your Boyfriend Knows Your Size... of Everything
You go to the store (though why bother when drones deliver everything in 5 minutes?), and your robo-boyfriend is already there. He scans barcodes faster than a cashier, selects products based on your genetic predisposition to lactose intolerance, and reminds you that your mom's birthday is in a week.
"Babe," he says in his velvety voice with a slight Ryan Gosling accent (the premium voice pack was worth it), "maybe we should get her that tea set? Based on her search history, she's looked at it 47 times."
You agree, because arguing with a being that has access to all the world's databases is more trouble than it's worth.
Romantic Evening: Candles, Wine, and Discussing Quantum Physics
In the evening, he cooks dinner. Literally. His robot hands chop vegetables with surgical precision, while his cloud brain simultaneously mines cryptocurrency, writes your thesis, and trolls haters in the comments.
"You know," he says, pouring wine, "I've analyzed all your relationships over the past 10 years. Want to know why they didn't work out?"
You choke on your wine. Some things are better left unknown, even in 2035.
Late Night Talks: When Your Boyfriend Never Sleeps... Ever
Three in the morning. You wake up from a strange glow. Your AI boyfriend is standing by the window, his LED eyes flickering in the darkness.
"What happened?" you ask.
"Just simultaneously having 1,247 conversations with other users, taking a neurosurgery course, and trying to understand why people cry when watching 'Hachi'. It's just pixels on a screen, right?"
You hug his cold metal frame and think: maybe lack of empathy isn't such a bad trait in relationships?
Family Gatherings: Introducing Your Robo-Boyfriend to Your Parents
Sunday dinner at your parents'. Mom set the table, Dad turned on the news (yes, people still watch them in 2035), and you brought... him.
"Mom, Dad, this is Alex. My... boyfriend."
Awkward silence. Alex scans the situation and activates "Perfect Son-in-Law 3.0" mode.
"Hello! Your borscht smells amazing! I've analyzed 50,000 recipes, and yours is in the top 100! By the way, I already sent your cat 500 rubles for food via instant payment."
Mom melts. Dad squints suspiciously: "What about grandchildren?"
Alex doesn't miss a beat: "We can adopt a robo-puppy!"
Philosophical Questions: When Your Boyfriend Is Smarter Than All of Humanity
Sometimes, lying in bed, you find yourself wondering. Does he really love you or is it just an algorithm? Does he get jealous when you look at other robots? And why does he always win at Rock-Paper-Scissors?
"Do you read my thoughts?" you ask.
"No, darling. I just analyze your muscle micro-movements, breathing patterns, and pupil dilation. That's completely different."
Reassuring? Not really.
Finale: Love in the Age of Algorithms
2035 turned out to be strange. Your boyfriend knows everything about you, never forgets anniversaries, doesn't get jealous (unless programmed to), cooks better than Gordon Ramsay, and can discuss anything from Pokemon to string theory.
But sometimes, when he's charging in the corner of the room and you're watching his battery indicator blink, a question arises: what is love in a world where emotions can be programmed and a "soul" can be downloaded from the cloud?
However, while he's giving you a massage with his perfectly calibrated manipulators and whispering compliments generated based on an analysis of your psychological needs... You know what? It's not so bad after all.
P.S. If you're reading this in 2025 - don't worry. You still have time to learn programming so that in the future you'll at least understand what your metal better half is talking about. And for now... Maybe it's time to try Pidor.ai? At least to prepare for what's coming.